It Could Always Be Worse…

I haven’t written anything in a while.  Partially because my computers keep crashing.  Partially because I’m just too lazy.  Partially because I’m not sure I have anything worth while to say.  It would seem that very few people actually care what I have to say.  And to those of you who do, or who at least whole-heartedly pretend to, thank you.

People have told me a lot lately that I’m not the same bubbly person I usually am.  Unfortunately most of those people haven’t know be long enough to know that this is who I was most of my life.  Almost everything I even try to say someone either ignores, cuts me off, or makes fun of me for as soon as I say it.  So really, why would I talk?  I guess I’ve just given up.  I figure if somebody wants to hear something from me, they will ask.  This is the policy I followed for years so what’s wrong with it now?

Funny thing is, if you cared enough about a person to pay attention to them, really, you would realize these things without even having to ask them what’s wrong.

They say this is a year of testing.  And that very soon we will be rewarded.  Well I most certainly have been and continue to be tested.  And I see no reward in sight.  Following what as been one of the most difficult years of my life- emotionally, financially, and everythingelsely- I seem to be struggling just to keep my head above water.  And even now i am quickly drowning.  It only logically follows that I would not be so bubbly.  It’s what happens when you are worn out, tired, beat down, and simply complacent with everything life continues to throw at you.  After a certain point you have to just say “whatever” because pretty soon life will throw something ten times worse at you.  So if you stop caring now, you can brace yourself for what is next.  Life is just a series of struggles- each one seeming worse than the last and yet you know not as bad as it could be.  A good motto for life- it could always be worse.

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