If I Were Governor

So let me start by saying that I’m so glad that the ban on panhandling in Tampa is working so well! (By which I mean I passed four panhandlers on my way home today).

For those of you who are not from West Central Florida, or just don’t follow the news, as of November 1st, the city of Tampa banned panhandling except on Sundays (which today is not).  Of course, banning something but not enforcing it doesn’t do much good.  Plus, if I were a bum, I would panhandle to get arrested just for 3 hots and a cot!  So now our jails can be filled with bums while real criminals roam the streets raping and pillaging (because clearly all criminals are pirates…or vikings).  All of this is putting to further waste our tax dollars.

You know what would not have been a waste of our tax dollars?  High speed light rail system.  But, oh wait, that got shot down (again, for those of you not from the area or just oblivious- central Florida tried last year to pass a bill for an above ground subway of sorts, but it got shot down despite popular vote).  What would be a great way to create jobs, get bums off the street, and keep costs relatively low?  Hire all the bums to build the railroad!  Obviously they would need professional supervision, but labor costs would decrease significantly in paying people making nothing now, minimum wage to help build it.  How do you think they built the cross country railroads.  They paid all the Micks pennies to do it!  (And beer, which is close enough to money for an Irishman and probably a bum)*.

I’m just saying, we need more businessmen and less politicians running this place.  And by businessmen, I don’t mean the kind that embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars.

 

*I mean no real racism by this, I am part Irish, it’s merely the way of thinking back when the railroads were built.  They also hated Asians, but as I am not part Asian, I feel I am not allowed to make racist jokes about them.

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