A Word of Advice to the Boys

Men are always complaining about “not understanding” women.  Hell, I hardly understand them, that’s why most of my friends are guys!  But I have two really big pet peeves when it comes to guys, and both deal with communication and honesty.

So boys, listen up:

1) If you are dating a girl and after a few dates or whatever, you are not feeling it, then politely tell her so.  Don’t just fall off the face of the earth (something my best friend has termed as “skytracking”).  It’s sounds cliche (“It’s not you, it’s me”) but if you don’t tell her she will automatically assume that it’s her.  Girls are just dumb that way.  If you’re too chicken shit to tell her in person or call her, at least send it to her in a text or email.

2)Don’t pull the other cliche “I hope we can still be friends”.  It might seem to ease the pain at the time, but usually causes more pain over the long run.  It’s not to say that you can’t be friends, I have dated some of my best friends.  But if you have no intention of actually being a friend to her (even if all it means is shooting her a message to check in once in a while, or commenting on her Facebook wall or post) then don’t say you want to still be friends.  Better to politely tell her you’re not feeling it and THEN fall off the face of the earth.  Unless she’s a crazy stalker chick, then I don’t know what to tell you except “B**ches be crazy, yo!”

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Dear Love

Dear Love,

It was very nice meeting you the other day, but now I am sad that you had to go away.  Our time together was much too short, I dare say.  I searched my whole life for you, I wrote about you as a child.  It seems a cruel twist of fate I find you now, when it is too late.  I hope to see you again someday, preferably before I am old and gray.  I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t pray, for another twist of fate to bring us back together.  But our luck doesn’t work that way, remember?

I work so hard to find you and keep you, and I lose you still, I wonder why I even bother, I doubt if you ever will.

Sometimes I wonder, if I’ll ever see you again, Love.  And even if I do, will it ever be the same?  I’ll always remember how it was before you never even called me by my name.

Until we meet again, Love, I hope you’ll remember me here all alone.  I hope you’ll return one day and stay and then I can finally be at home.

Yours Truly,

Me

Crazy Random Happenstances

I don’t usually write about too personal of things on here because: a) let’s face it, no one really cares and b) I don’t want to cause any trouble or stir up any drama by throwing anyone under the bus.  That being said, I feel I need to get a little personal to tell you how I have realized the rediculous and crazy way life works out regardless of your plans…

It started a few weeks ago when I got a sudden influx of self-confidence and general “throw caution to the wind” attitude.  I went out on a mission.  The same mission I’m sure any girl who has been single a little too long and had a little too much to drink might go on.  Needless to say, I met one guy one night, got hit on by a semi-famous guy the next, and rekindled a bit of an old flame the next.  Then I start panicking about what to do about them all.  So to help me out, life starts eliminating them for me… one lives to far away and is generally out of reach.  Down to two.  Both of them kind of fickle.  A week later I go out to meet one of them, but he has to bail.  So I do my thing- which apparently acts as a magnent even when I don’t want it to.  I turn down a lot of creeps that night.  Then one won’t take no for an answer.  Thinking I’ll probably never hear from him again, I give him my number and lo and behold, he’s the one I talk to the most!

I don’t tell you all this to hurt anyone, and I promise you I’m really not a floozie- they just kind of flock to me all at once (where was everybody for the six months I had no one!?!?)  I still hold to the fact that life puts each and every person in your path for a reason.  Even if only to teach you one small lesson.  And it seems the people I meet are never for the reasons I think!  It never ceases to amaze me the curve-balls life continues to throw.

My Life In Song

I think it’s time I do this again.  It’s my life in song.  The nature of a good song is that at any given time someone can completely relate to it and say “wow, it’s almost like that song was written for me!”  There are so many songs that I can relate to in some way or another, but at any given time, certain ones tend to stick out even more.  So, here is my life at this moment in five songs….

It’s that time of year again.  The Holidays are piling on, everyone is working overtime, I’m fairly certain that almost all of my friends can relate to this song right now.  Hey, we can sleep when we’re dead, right!

I’m fairly certain I used this one in my last post like this.  Probably because it seriously fits me.  Only my nails ARE painted black.  And I only want to ride the mechanical bull:)  Take notes boys…

I’ve tried a lot of things in my life, some I’m better at than others, but mostly I have fairly useless talents.  Although I would like to thank everyone who has given me the chance lately to prove that I am actually intelligent and useful.  But I do love the nightlife.  And my Bud Light.  (Although Guinness would be even better- but I don’t expect to find Guinness in a country song- until I write one 😉 )

This one is because I pretty much want to live in the music video.  Also, no matter what, I want to dance.

This one is classic words of wisdom from a wise man- and also kinda the story of my life.  So here’s to hoping one day I can trust…

In any case, I hope you liked your musical break for the day.  I intend to do this every once in a while.  For my [revious post like this, see… Life is Like A Country Song!

A Side Note on Relationships

Why is it that almost every guy I’ve dated tries coming back to me after we’re through?  Sometimes months later, sometimes years.  Yet, if I tell him he’ll miss me when I’m gone- he’ll never believe it.  But in the end, they always do.

Guys- some advice- Stop looking for something better and take a good look at what’s in front of you now.  You never know how good something is until it’s gone, so don’t wait for that to happen! Because chances are, by then it will be too late.  Learn to appreciate what you have.  You’ll miss it when it’s gone.  And if you’re smart, you’ll do everything you can to keep it there.  Just some friendly advice.

Quarter-Life Crisis

I feel like, after the accumulation of everything that has (and has not) happened this year, I have reached a quarter-life crisis.  This is different from a mid-life crisis in that I don’t have a need to buy a motorcycle or date a man half my age or get my year’s salary in plastic surgery.  But it is very similar in that I feel the strong need for change, big change, and soon.

Unfortunately, like everything about me, my desire is at opposite ends of the spectrum in this too.  On the one hand, I hear the quintessential “clock ticking” giving me the strong urge to mate and have a family.  Which I would absolutely love and is my ultimate goal in life.  But like everything I consider doing in life, I’m gravely afraid of screwing it up.  The other part of me wants to pick up and move across the country or get a job on a cruise ship and travel around the world.  The only problem with either of those plans is the house I bought in hopes of moving towards the first goal.

With conflicting goals I basically have to decide now which goal I would like to pursue for my life. That’s a tough decision to make at my age! And, unlike Miley Cyrus, I fear I cannot have the best of both worlds.  It can be so hard to figure out what I want- and it never seems to be the thing I want a few weeks later! All I can know for sure is what I don’t want. And what I don’t want is to be stuck in my crappy, dead-end job, making not even enough money to pay for the house I’m depressed to sit alone in and therefore try to avoid.

In school they give you guidance counselors to help tell you what classes you should take. Why can’t there be life counselors to help you make grown up choices? Why can’t there be someone telling you what job to get. Or where to live. Or, most helpful, who to date? Heck I’d take guidance on just one of those and be doing a heck of a lot better than where I’m at right now!

I don’t know where I’ll end up next year, but I feel like it will not be where I am now. I hope it is not. I’m not sure I could stand it if it were. All it takes is one big change, and I buy at least a few months before I get sick of that.  I’m trying. I’m exploring my options and weighing out their merits.  But like always, I’m too scared to jump. Too scared to make that change myself. I’m to the point where I need something that will force me to choose. Something that will leave me no other choice than the right one.  Some cataclysmic event to finally change my stagnant life and get it moving again.

So I sit and wait. And pray for a clear sign. At the end of the day, life is all about choices. And I’m terrified of making the wrong ones.

Boys are Dumb, Throw Rocks at Them

My boyfriend and I finally broke up last week.  O sad, boo hoo, don’t worry it’s nothing I’m not used to (unfortunately).  That’s beside the point though because unlike everything else in the past year, this really isn’t about him.  The funny thing is is that even without knowing that we were broken up, guys come out of the woodwork trying to get with me, claiming they love me, etc.  Only they don’t actually know me.  I like to believe in love at first sight, but you usually confirm it by dating someone for a little bit before actually admitting it.  Funny thing is, anyone who thought they might have loved me only need spend a month or two with me before they quickly realize they don’t.  I kind of come from a line of strong-willed and independent women. My family is fairly matriarchal for the most part.  So I can see where guys get scared off.  I’m a fairly pretty, smart, and sometimes fun girl.  But those are not things to base love on.  And trust me, unless you’re in my inner circle, that’s pretty much all you know of me.  A lot of people seem to think they know me and they don’t.

And on a separate, somewhat related, note- guys you’re probably not going to get very far with girls if you proposition them before you even ask their name. Newsflash, I am more than just a vagina, so fuck off.

Home is… where the Heart is?

previously posted on livejournal, July 07, 2010

You know the old saying “Home is Where the Heart Is”? Well I’m getting really confused then as to where my home is. I’ve put a lot of time and money into my house, and yet I can’t stand to be in it. My heart is certainly not back with my parents because, while I love them to death, I hate most everything else about that town. Not to mention that my “home” was never really there either. I’d like to think my home is with you, since my heart certainly is, but half the time we’re together I think about everything else I have to do. Perhaps the problem is that my heart is in too many places to ever really feel at home? And all I know is that if I’m gonna be sitting around doing nothing anyways, I’d rather sit around and do nothing with you. Of course I’d also love to do EVERYTHING with you, if only we could. I don’t know what else to do. I would ask that everyone who has a piece of my heart return it please, but I already know that it’s so damaged it wouldn’t even help. I fear I will never really belong anywhere in this world.

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