Objective Representation

Have you ever felt that a certain inanimate object represents you? Maybe you dreamed it, or saw it and felt a connection?  For the past few years, I have had just that.

I was visiting an old fortress in Spain, and from a turret you could look down at the water and see a little red dinghy just floating there.  For some reason, I connected to this red dinghy, I knew how it felt.  I’ve made drawings where I semi-consciously inserted a red dinghy on some body of water, to represent myself in the scene.  I have a few photos of various little red boats from all over the world, some moored, some floating, some motorized, some beached or overturned.  Can I say why this represents me?  Not a clue. Perhaps it is a similar feeling of “being adrift”?  I’m open to any interpretations though.

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Do you have an object you feel represents you? Please share in the comments!

Where will YOU be in ten years?

Remember back in high school people would always ask you “Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years?”  I’m pretty sure that question was on every college admissions application.  How did you answer?  Did you really know?  Did you have a goal or did you just put what you thought they wanted to hear?  Or were you honest and said you had no idea?

I honestly don’t remember what I would put for that.  I’m fairly certain I generally just left it blank or filled it with question marks.  I’ve always had a few random ideas for where my life could go, but I always figured there were so many variables that affected it to know for sure.  At one point I wanted to be either a profiler or linguist for the FBI.  At another point I wanted to be a computer programmer.  I also always thought that by ten years I’d have a husband and kids and a family and a house.

Today, I realized that it HAS been ten years.   Did you end up where you thought you would?  Did you accomplish any of your lofty adolescent goals?  I didn’t.  No fancy, important career.  No husband or kids.  I do have a house.  I suppose that’s something.  One out of four ain’t bad, I suppose.   Still, I ask myself what I have been doing for these past 10 years?!?  I’m no closer to any of these goals than when I graduated high school.  In fact, I feel like I’m further away from any of them.

Someone pointed out today that there are kids half my age that have accomplished way more in their short lives than I will ever hope to accomplish in mine.  It’s kind of a depressing thought.  I suppose it gives you something to work towards, but for most of those things I feel like the ship has sailed.  And let’s be honest, a 3o-year old doing the things that a 10 year old is doing isn’t nearly as impressive.

I suppose the only thing to do now is ask myself: Where do you hope to be in 10 years from NOW?  Funnily enough, the answers remain pretty much the same (except even less lofty):  husband, maybe kids, decent career (I don’t need anything too fancy, just something I don’t hate and can make a decent living at), and maybe have visited a couple more foreign countries.  Those don’t seem lofty do they?  I’m not asking to be a pop star or anything!  Just some basic, All-American goals.  And hopefully, my next 10 years will be more successful than the last 🙂

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