Dear Love

Dear Love,

It was very nice meeting you the other day, but now I am sad that you had to go away.  Our time together was much too short, I dare say.  I searched my whole life for you, I wrote about you as a child.  It seems a cruel twist of fate I find you now, when it is too late.  I hope to see you again someday, preferably before I am old and gray.  I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t pray, for another twist of fate to bring us back together.  But our luck doesn’t work that way, remember?

I work so hard to find you and keep you, and I lose you still, I wonder why I even bother, I doubt if you ever will.

Sometimes I wonder, if I’ll ever see you again, Love.  And even if I do, will it ever be the same?  I’ll always remember how it was before you never even called me by my name.

Until we meet again, Love, I hope you’ll remember me here all alone.  I hope you’ll return one day and stay and then I can finally be at home.

Yours Truly,

Me

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Ah, Sweet? Memories

I should be sleeping to try and kick my cold, but I have once again been distracted.  I was going to put something away and what should I come across but my old journal (I would say diary but that sounds so sixth grade!)  Naturally, I had to start reading it.  It starts a few months into my first semester at college.  It’s amazing how you tend to forget the bad things.  Which, actually, might explain why I don’t remember most of college.  Not that college was really that bad, but at the time I felt it was.  It was mainly just lonely.

In any case, I digress.  It goes on to talk about closure with the guy I loved all through high school… what I want my house to have when I grow up (I must say, I got about half of it!)  …  my whirlwind decision to run for and become Circle K District Treasurer (another chapter of my life I’d almost forgotten!)  … and of course it constantly recounts my ever persistent boy troubles (some things never change!)  But, despite all of that, is what I found next… my “List of Things to Do Before I Die”.

As far as I know, this is the first written list I have made of this type.  I chose to write about it because, while it is quite short, I have accomplished many of the things on it.  In my previous post I was somewhat despondent  at having not accomplished anything I wanted to.  Perhaps I set my goals to high?  This discovery gave me some strange sort of hope again.   So here is my earliest list…

  • live in a foreign country for at least 6 weeks
  • visit Hawaii (done in the summer of 2005 or 2006?)
  • graduate college cum laude (I actually one up-ed myself and graduated MAGNA cum laude)
  • publish a book of my poems and art
  • perform at least one line in a professional play/movie/tv show
  • get married
  • have a kid
  • learn Spanish (well I do know a good deal more than I did before…)
  • become fluent in French (judged by my attempt to write in French, I feel like I have digressed in this goal)
  • own my home (closed on my house in Feb 2009!)
  • take a road trip (depends how you define road trip…)
  • see the west coast of the U.S. (I will be doing this in less than two months and I am sooooooo excited!)
I know it probably means nothing to anyone but me, but it is always encouraging to really see all that you have accomplished, especially in such times of stagnation.

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