One Word

Everyone has been asked at some point by a college application letter or silly myspace suvey that one question: What ONE word would you choose to describe yourself?

I’ve always answered with eclectic, or eccentric (which is like eclectic with a little crazy genius thrown in).  I want to be everywhere and do everything all at once, and I want to learn and retain all of the knowledge and experiences in the process (you can see where the crazy might come in).   I have always had a wide taste in everything- music, movies, books, foods, drinks, cultures, interests.  It occured to me that some people might call this “flaky”.  It could be said that my interests change based on what’s hip or which people I hang out with.  But anyone who has known me long enough knows I have definitely never been hip or trendy.  And why yes, I do do different things based on who I am with because I like doing all these things and they might not.  So we can both be happy by doing what they want then why make anyone unhappy?

Which brings me to another word– Genuine.  I have never though of it before, but “Genuine” would be a good word to describe me.  I have a weird selection of tastes because I choose things I genuinely like, without regard to what other people think.  I do the same with people.  I choose to associate with people I genuinely like, and not with people because they might make me popular or “have connections” or whatnot.  When I interact with people, it is in a genuine manner.  Anyone who knows me well enough knows me as too nice.  I am too nice to everybody, and get taken advantage of a lot.  But I do it because I genuinely care.  Even if I know people aren’t going to tip me, I’m still nice, because I know what it’s like to barely have the money for the food let alone a tip.  But you best not be rude to me.

I don’t care if I’ve known you for five years or five seconds, I take everything personally and to heart.  If you are rude to me, I wonder what I said to make you so.  If you don’t tip me, I wonder what I forgot to do.  If you ignore me or blow me off, I wonder what I did to upset you.  If you dump me, I ask what I did wrong.  My inquisitive nature gives me the need to understand everything all the time.  I need explanations. If you are crying, I want to know why and what I can do to fix it.  If you are having a bad day or week, I want to make it better.  If you are sick I want you to get better.  And silly naive little me expects the same things from other people.

But lets face it, there are very few genuine people left in this world.  Most people are out for themselves.  Some people pretend to care about others, but only to further some agenda they have.  Meanwhile, the people who are genuine are constantly struggling.  Struggling to help everyone else, to make everything work, to care for their loved ones, to understand the cruel and ungiving world we live in.  In all my studies, I will never understand the most basic of human social concepts.  I will never understand lying and cheating and manipulating.  I will never understand the need to “fit in”, which is not the same as the human need to “belong”.  I will never understand war and violence and cruelty.  No matter how cynical and jaded and bitter I have become (which I really have, sadly), the naive little girl in me will always wish everyone could just live happily ever after.

So I challenge you, among all the other words you may be, may one day everyone be called “genuine”.

Fine Line Between Genius and Insanity

It is often said that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.  I tend to straddle it  on a regular basis.  Although, it has occurred to me that, while being incredibly intelligent, I’ve never really done anything that could be considered truly genius.  This would imply that perhaps I fall slightly more to the “insane” side than I would like to believe.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  I tend to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.  I could just be stupid, but then that would counter my previous statement about being smart.  So the only answer is that I am possibly insane.  Only thing is, insane people don’t question their sanity.  So by that logic, I couldn’t possibly be insane.  Perhaps just a little bit crazy.  All girls are at least a little bit crazy.  They even have a technical term for it- PMS.  So while I may not be truly genius or truly insane, I suppose I am still a girl.

What’s in an IQ?

Somehow I got to chatting with a friend about IQ scores.  I don’t generally share mine with people because I learned at an early age that it’s generally the smart kid’s that get picked on.  I learned at a later age that sometimes people are intimidated by my intelligence… especially boys.  I personally don’t care what other people’s are.  I think everyone I know is smart in one way or another, if you weren’t I probably wouldn’t talk to you as I have no patience for truly stupid people.

It can be fun to try and guess people’s though.  You’d be surprised.  Some of the smartest people you would never think are so smart.  (Apparently this is often the case with me.  I have a theory that the higher one’s IQ, the ditsier one tends to be… I may as well go blonde!)  In any case, if you ever wanted to know what IQs mean, I found a nice little website here.  Let’s just say mine is in the “genius or near genius” range….

In any case, I was tested when I was five or six, and I feel like since I finished school I have gotten dumber.  Perhaps my knowledge base has merely shifted.  I may not remember all the mathematical equations or grammatical structures I once knew, but I have since learned how to change my oil, put up a wall, make a drink, etc.  Well I learned how to do a lot of these things in theory, some of them the actual performing part is still a little tricky.  Drinking all those drinks I make probably doesn’t help.

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