Dear Love

Dear Love,

It was very nice meeting you the other day, but now I am sad that you had to go away.  Our time together was much too short, I dare say.  I searched my whole life for you, I wrote about you as a child.  It seems a cruel twist of fate I find you now, when it is too late.  I hope to see you again someday, preferably before I am old and gray.  I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t pray, for another twist of fate to bring us back together.  But our luck doesn’t work that way, remember?

I work so hard to find you and keep you, and I lose you still, I wonder why I even bother, I doubt if you ever will.

Sometimes I wonder, if I’ll ever see you again, Love.  And even if I do, will it ever be the same?  I’ll always remember how it was before you never even called me by my name.

Until we meet again, Love, I hope you’ll remember me here all alone.  I hope you’ll return one day and stay and then I can finally be at home.

Yours Truly,

Me

Ah, Sweet? Memories

I should be sleeping to try and kick my cold, but I have once again been distracted.  I was going to put something away and what should I come across but my old journal (I would say diary but that sounds so sixth grade!)  Naturally, I had to start reading it.  It starts a few months into my first semester at college.  It’s amazing how you tend to forget the bad things.  Which, actually, might explain why I don’t remember most of college.  Not that college was really that bad, but at the time I felt it was.  It was mainly just lonely.

In any case, I digress.  It goes on to talk about closure with the guy I loved all through high school… what I want my house to have when I grow up (I must say, I got about half of it!)  …  my whirlwind decision to run for and become Circle K District Treasurer (another chapter of my life I’d almost forgotten!)  … and of course it constantly recounts my ever persistent boy troubles (some things never change!)  But, despite all of that, is what I found next… my “List of Things to Do Before I Die”.

As far as I know, this is the first written list I have made of this type.  I chose to write about it because, while it is quite short, I have accomplished many of the things on it.  In my previous post I was somewhat despondent  at having not accomplished anything I wanted to.  Perhaps I set my goals to high?  This discovery gave me some strange sort of hope again.   So here is my earliest list…

  • live in a foreign country for at least 6 weeks
  • visit Hawaii (done in the summer of 2005 or 2006?)
  • graduate college cum laude (I actually one up-ed myself and graduated MAGNA cum laude)
  • publish a book of my poems and art
  • perform at least one line in a professional play/movie/tv show
  • get married
  • have a kid
  • learn Spanish (well I do know a good deal more than I did before…)
  • become fluent in French (judged by my attempt to write in French, I feel like I have digressed in this goal)
  • own my home (closed on my house in Feb 2009!)
  • take a road trip (depends how you define road trip…)
  • see the west coast of the U.S. (I will be doing this in less than two months and I am sooooooo excited!)
I know it probably means nothing to anyone but me, but it is always encouraging to really see all that you have accomplished, especially in such times of stagnation.

Life is an Adventure

Here is what I reallized this week: Life is an adventure!  My last post was all about remembering some of my best memories that I could think of.  What about the ones that didn’t turn out as planned?  What about the not so goo things that turned into great things, or at the very least a funny story?

For instance, one of my memories was my surprise party- but originally I was depressed because no one could come to the party I was trying so hard to plan for myself.

Or there’s the adventure that made me realize this in the first place.  The other night, I got off work and was ready to go out when I couldn’t find my phone.  I couldn’t find it anywhere in work, so I went to search my car one more time.  Upon doing so, I locked my keys, and all my money, cards, etc.  in my car.  And all of this was without anything to drink!  So I went back inside and everyone I work with was surprised how calm I was.  What was I supposed to do? I’ve locked my keys in the car plenty of times before, I know I can get them out.  My phone was a little more worrisome, but I have insurance on it, thankfully.  My boss even offered to buy me a beer while I hung out and waited for my coworkers to get done.  I took him up on the offer of course (I never pass on free beer!).  I helped my coworkers close up so they could come help me with my car.  We were trying to break-in with my antenna and an ice cream scoop.  The other two guys decided to run to the store and buy a six-pack, we could have a little party in the parking lot!  When they came back they informed us they had found a cop with a slim jim who would be by to help shortly.  Meanwhile, we continued our method and drank some beers.  The cops came out and were very nice.  I’ve asked other cops to help me when I locked my keys in my car and they said they were not allowed to unless a pet or child was inside.  By the time they got there, my 3 coworkers, my manager, and 4 or 5 of the cooks were there watching, some helping.  I felt so special!

And while it sucks not having a phone for a few days,  now I have a funny story to tell people!

And the moral of that story is: You can turn even some of the crappiest moments of life into a party.  And I’m glad to have such nice coworkers and city police.

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