Reasons I Should Not be Left by Myself

Regardless of the fact that I like to think I yearn for honest human interaction, I find myself spending more and more time alone.  I have started having conversations in my head with myself (okay, I’ve always had those, but at least they used to be with imaginary friends!)  This is the conversation I just had in my head while cleaning my floors…

-People need to start taking off their shoes when they come in…

-Yes, but then the place will smell like stinky feet!

-Good, then the stinky feet smell can over power the dog pee smell.  I’m less embarrassed by stinky feet smell than dog pee smell.  Stinky feet is not something you can really help, you just come like that.  Dog pee is totally your own fault for failing to train/walk/crate your dog properly.  Stinky feet is genetic, dog pee is just crappy parenting.  It’s kind of like, if your kid turns out gay, oh well, nothing you could do.  But if they turned out to be a serial rapist, well then you failed as a parent and should probably be castrated.

#ReasonsIShouldNotbeLeftAlone … or … #ReasonsIShouldNotCleanMyHouseAlone.

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